HOW TROLLS LIKE THESE ARE DESTROYING FANDOM

Interview by Brian Grant 

*British toilet paper brand famed for it’s advertisements featuring Labrador pups.
*A ‘Bob’: British colloquialism for a Shilling in pre-decimalised UK currency.

“Don’t worry, Prime Minister. When it goes t*ts up, it’s the idiots in charge of the quango who’ll take the blame!”  “Sir Humphry, you’re a genius!”

*’Strictly Come Dancing’. BBC television show.
*British colloquialism for a police informant.

 And…      

*Incitatus was the notorious Emperor’s horse.
*Tetley’s: British tea brand.

*A Brew: Colloquial English for a cup of tea.
  • 1: I couldn’t be a**ed and,
  • 2. The prospect of him responding with another dose of electronically delivered anesthetic was not at all desirable, regardless of its comic value.”

“He was from the tip of South-West England, which isn’t exactly the end of the world, but you can probably see it from there. With his severe buzz-cut and Japanese sniper specs which looked as if they’d been fashioned from secondhand reentry shields, he had all the charisma of a lavatory brush.”

While he’d make a number of very serious allegations about Tina and Thomas via social media, rather than put his real name to these claims, he instead adopted the name of someone from Tina’s book, ‘Peter Wyngarde: A Life Amongst Strangers‘ to secrete himself behind.       

*Marks and Spencer. A well-known British fashion, homeware and food retailer.

“Most people would find it difficult to make sense of the types that join online hate mobs, but then idiots like those spoken of here simply don’t have the same emotions and feelings as the rest of us. The individuals that chose to leap aboard Mr. W’s rickety three-wheeled bandwagon were sad, middle-aged men with beer bellies and comb-overs whose wives probably paid them to go out. There was, however, at least one woman amongst them – namely Ms. Z (delegated Minister for Paperclips): an old boiler with the voice of a Klaxon and a face as hard as a dressed crab. She’d been prowling the touchline for some time with shades of a KGB agent eavesdropping at a Leningrad bus stop. I wouldn’t describe her as a dung beetle exactly – more something a dung beetle might eat! She came across as the type that no one had ever taken the slightest scrap of notice of her entire life, including her ‘partner’ – a keen fisherman by all accounts – who’d apparently rather sit dangling his tackle into a freezing canal than spend time with her. Now suddenly she was a great white shark in a goldfish bowl. For the first time in her pointless existence there was a group of mindless clowns who were not only willing to acknowledge her, but who were actually prepared to listen to what she had to say.   

“Tina’s life story of Peter is a must-read from the one who knew him best.” Sam J. Jones

*Arthur Daley and Terry McCann – the two main characters in ‘Minder’.

“They obviously expected us to come crawling, cap in hand, while declaring unconditional surrender. Again, this demonstrated their boundless conceit. These people had written themselves into our story, then felt we owed them something. It seemed their collective egos required someone to bend the knee to them, when what they really needed was the Wizard of Oz! ”   

Thank you to Ryan Church for the above. Sent to him by Google after he lodged a complaint about the contents of ‘The Covens’ website.

Despite the horrendous abuse and harassment, there were a few moments of hilarity. I suspect that most right-minded people would find the following both hilarious and pitiful in equal measure, if only for the rank stupidity of the perpetrator. It would involve Mr. Y attempting to take the public for fools by posting a yarn on his website about a British Gas engineer who had, purportedly, visited Tina’s parent’s home to carry out work on their central heating boiler (this despite the fact that her parents home is heated solely by electricality!). By an absolutely mind-boggling quirk of fate this engineer, it was claimed, was also a card-carrying member of ‘The Coven’! The odds of this happening must have been, well, astronomical!     

Do you think these bullies will have moved on to someone else by now?       

“It’s really quite frightening to consider, given the lengths to which they went to over this, what Mr. X and his hired guns might’ve been capable of if we had done something to offend them personally. X certainly didn’t cover himself in glory here, and rather than discrediting us, he succeeded only in debasing himself. He certainly has no justification in peering down his snout at anyone else after this performance.

“I’ve always maintained that sunshine is the best disinfectant”

The National Stalking Helpline:
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