FAN FICTION: An Interview with Stewart Kirby

Written by Jean Orcutt

The Hellfire Club’s American correspondent, Jean Orcutt, is pleased and proud to present the following exclusive person live interview with the legendary star of screen and stage, Mr. Stewart Kirby.

Mr Kirby, you were once a very well-known celebrity; a huge star of stage and screen. Why did you decide to make this bizarre ‘Epic’ movie, ‘The Destruction of Emma Peel’?

Stewart Kirby: Z.Z. von Schnerk made me an offer I couldn’t refuse! It did sound like great fun at first… a chance to return to the limelight, and the challenge of using a real person as the unsuspecting star was tantalising

Setting up a false rendezvous with Mrs Peel on that country lane was the most ingenious, since you had never seen her before. What was your first impression of her?

Stewart Kirby: I thought she was one foxy lady but certainly no great challenge. Since the movie called for several physical confrontations with Mrs Peel – you know, swords, guns, perhaps even hand-to-hand combat – her outward appearance gave me no cause for concern, considering my own athletic agility, skill and cunning.

Were you physically attracted to Emma Peel?

Stewart Kirby: I’d hardly be a man if I weren’t, but being the professional that I am, I could not allow my emotions to get in the way of my acting. Besides, there was that Steed person who was always snooping about… I could never figure out where he fit into her life. He always called her “Mrs Peel”, but I never saw a “Mr Peel.” She called him John and gave the impression of being rather fond of him. Then there was dear Damita to consider – you know she and I were the last of Z.Z.’s big-name stars to stay with the dying studio. We have always been very close all of these years.

What did you think when you learned that the action was to be real – when there would be “no fake bullets” so to speak?

Stewart Kirby: I never quite believed it would come down to Mrs Peel’s actual death I always start that at the very last minute, Z.Z. would jump up and yell “Cut!” On the other hand, I’ve never had a problem with “getting into character”… only getting out of character. I will follow the script and action without question or deviation. The director is always right!

What about the poor fellow who was auditioning for the non-speaking part – that fella you shot at point blank range?

Stewart Kirby: Oh, that one… it wasn’t what it seemed at all. That was actually a case of self-defence. We had gotten into a little disagreement… couldn’t follow directions… he insisted upon adding lines to his “nonspeaking” part. Then he called me a drunk, a has-been and threatened to tell the world what von Schnerk was doing. I saw him reach towards his coat pocket and I just knew he was about to pull a gun. How was I to know that he was going for his handkerchief and that he was unarmed? Well, we needed a corpse anyway, and he filled the role admirably. I had complete faith in Z.Z. – he would protect us from anything.

The kidnapping of Mrs Peel – whose idea was that?

Stewart Kirby: I must take the bow for that. Brilliant, wasn’t it? Mrs Peel played right into my hands, having found her car out of commission, and the simultaneous arrival of an available black cab. Once she was in the taxi, she was mind. I actually borrowed the idea from an old TV series, The Prisoner, where the hero is kidnapped in similar fashion, only to awaken in a replica of his own. When Mrs Peel awoke, she too found herself in what looked like her own flat, but it was actually a stage set in a studio.

As the shooting began you of course had a script to follow. Damita Syn had a few minor parts to play, and the unsuspecting Emma Peel was clueless as to her part in the movie. Did Mrs Peel react as you expected?

Stewart Kirby: Most of the scenes unfolded in good order, but that woman turned out to be an Amazon! That coy little smile, her unflappable demeanour masked a lethal weapon. I was completely unprepared for her agility and strength. She flipped me in the Gladiator Scene as if I were a ragdoll, How embarrassing… I was lucky that Damita was able to get a crack at her, knocked her out cold before she killed me! Z.Z. didn’t tell me Mrs Peel was such a fighter.

In the Old West Saloon Scene. Was your gun loaded and were you confident that Mrs Peel’s gun was loaded only with blanks?

Stewart Kirby: That was an interesting confrontation. By the time that scene rolled around, I was not at all certain Mrs Peel was the easy mark. Z.Z. had assured me that her gun was not loaded, and the script did not yet call for her demise. When I called a “Draw!” I felt my gun get hung up momentarily in the holster, and not wishing to take any chances that the gun was actually be loaded with real bullets, I took the fall, quite convincingly I might add. After that scene, I needed a real drink in that saloon to steady my nerves for the next act.

There were other confrontations, but it seems that things really started to go downhill during your Indian attack on Mrs Peel. What went wrong?

Stewart Kirby: Yes, that was a dreadful scene wasn’t it? Let me see if I can remember. Mrs Peel had is six-shooter loaded with blanks. Having first caught her attention by shooting an arrow into the wagon beyond where she was hiding, I then charged out from behind a building with a bloodcurdling war cry. She fired at me, and since I knew she was fighting blanks, or at least I hope she was, and not wanting her to get wise to that fact, I feigned a hit. I got up and continued the attack, she fired, and again I went down. I came at her like a lightning bolt but, suddenly, she was all over me and had me down before I knew what had happened. Well, naturally I thought she would finish me off right there and then, but she must have already figured out what was going on, and believed it was really a game. She let me go and then disappeared. I was so shaken by this turn of events that I collapsed exhausted off camera. Maybe I shouldn’t have stayed for that last round of drinks on the saloon set. Z.Z. and I both realised that Mrs Peel was getting wise to what was going on, and that we were running out of time. It was time to get serious… time for the climax in ‘The Destruction Of Emma Peel’. Besides, she had made a fool of me on camera! I vowed right there and then that during the next confrontation, Mrs Peel would see a very different side of Stewart Kirby!

Which was?

Stewart Kirby: The unscheduled appearance of a policeman, actually a film extra who had somehow got into the studio grounds, gave me the perfect opportunity to show Mrs Peel that I was no fool and that I was also a bit upset with the trespasser. I always wanted to play the infamous American gangster Al Capone, and this was a golden opportunity. Once I was in costume, a mysterious force took hold of me and I actually became Capone – and with a machine gun. I was still angry with Mrs Peel over the earlier scenes, and furious with that bumbling film extra who insisted that what was happening was nothing more than a scene in a film. I opened fire, and quite honestly didn’t care or consider whether the gun was loaded with bullets or blanks. I was Capone, and I really didn’t give a damn that I killed that man. I figured I didn’t have anything to lose at that point, and I wanted nothing else to stand in the way of our reaching the ultimate climax of the movie.

You did a replay of an earlier scene except for costume and character change. Tell us about that scene.

Stewart Kirby: You are referring to the scene where I play a Confederate soldier returning from the American Civil War. Actually, that was Damita’s idea. She liked the Gladiator Scene so much, and got such a thrill out of rescuing me from Mrs Peel’s vicious attack, that she begged to let her do it again. Z.Z. rewrote the dialogue, changed the characters, and retained the basic action of the scene. For me, preparation for this act was harrowing as I had to watch four hours of the movie classic, ‘Gone With The Wind’ in order to master that “Old South” dialogue. Do you know, critics in American gave me ‘thumbs up’ on my accent?

Were you satisfied with Mrs Peels repeat performance during this same?

Stewart Kirby: Satisfied? She again made a idiot of me. Apparently, I failed to learn my lesson from the Gladiator Scene and she caught me off guard again. That woman is like a cat… quick, silent, agile… and she has nine lives. She threw me across the set again and then presented herself before Damita to be knocked out, or at least she pretended to be knocked out. At any rate, that was the final straw and we quickly tied her to a board in preparation for the final, lingering death scene.

Ah yes, the final scene – the melodramatic climax to ‘The Destruction Of Emmal Peel. Whose idea was it to set the stage in a torture chamber, complete with swinging pendulum and a buzzsaw as the weapon of choice? And what about your count Dracula character?

Stewart Kirby: Z.Z. von Schnerk, of course, wrote the screenplay, so this climax was the fruit of his creative genius. Personally, I would have preferred something that looked a little less theatrical and required a much less makeup. All that get-up took hours to put on. Damita said it made her look like an old hag.

At this point, did you think that Mrs Peel was really destined to die?

Stewart Kirby: It was late in the day when we shot this scene. When Z.Z. called for action and turned on that huge saw, I remember thinking that this could become rather messy and for the first time wondered if he really was mad. Of course, we didn’t know that John steed was lurking around the studio and was about to write himself into the picture. But I was exhausted, and my flask was empty. I thought that that the sooner we could finish shooting, the sooner I could get out of that hideous makeup and costume. Then Steed burst in onto the set, and that’s the last thing I remember. When I came to, I found Damita and me in handcuffs and on our way to the local police station. Poor Z.Z. – Steed shot him dead you know.

What an interesting yet tragic story, Mr Kirby, I want to thank you for sharing some of your recollections with our readers. What are you doing these days?

Stewart Kirby: Well, I served my time for those unfortunate murders, and retired from show business. Damita and I now own a shop in Wigan called ‘Send In The Clowns’. It’s hires out fancy dress costumes. Our motto is, “Everybody plays the fool, sometimes”.

Thank you Mr. Kirby. Readers, watch for another exciting Hellfire Club interviewing future issues which will feature the last public interview with well-known British socialite the late Mr. John Cleverly Cartney.

---

© Copyright The Hellfire Club: The OFFICIAL PETER WYNGARDE Appreciation Society: https://www.facebook.com/groups/813997125389790/